Introduction: What Is Love?
Let me begin with a simple question: How do you understand love?
I won’t drown you in abstract philosophical definitions. Instead, I strongly resonate with a perspective shared by Professor Luo Xiang: “True love is not love for humanity as a whole, but always love for specific individuals.” Below, I’ll expand on this idea, blending personal reflections with insights from literature. Corrections and discussions are welcome.
The Paradox of Loving Humanity but Failing to Love Individuals
Have you read Discourse on the Origin of Inequality by Rousseau? In it, Rousseau famously wrote that the thought of human suffering moved him to tears. Yet, this same man—who claimed such profound empathy for humanity, sent all five of his own children to orphanages.
Similarly, Bertrand Russell, a philosopher who undeniably advanced societal progress, outlined in his autobiography three driving forces in his life:
- The longing for love,
- The pursuit of knowledge,
- Unbearable compassion for human suffering.
He argued that moral constraints were the root of human misery. Yet, despite his professed love for humanity, Russell struggled to love specific people. He married four times, had countless affairs, and while he advocated for equality, he never relinquished his aristocratic title.
This dichotomy isn’t unique to them. Many intellectuals share this trait: they love humanity because it’s an abstract, flawless concept, one that can be romanticized with beautiful words. Loving humanity requires only intellectual engagement, while loving real people demands emotional labor.
No real person is perfect. Everyone has flaws, and the more we idealize an abstract “humanity,” the easier it becomes to despise the imperfect individuals around us.
Modern Parallels: The Illusion of Loving Animals
This phenomenon extends to modern life. Many people claim to love cats and dogs—their adorable appearances, their gentle natures. We adore the idea of pets, sharing viral videos or donating to animal shelters. But how many of these self-proclaimed animal lovers would actually adopt a stray if given the opportunity?
Loving a specific animal means committing time, energy, and emotional investment. It means cleaning up messes, enduring scratches, and accepting imperfections. The gap between abstract affection and concrete care reveals the true weight of love.
The Trap of Self-Worship: How to Avoid Extreme Narcissism
Here’s another critical idea:
“When life lacks an ultimate object of reverence, people inevitably place themselves at the center of existence, breeding uncontrollable narcissism.”
Recently, a friend asked me to interpret the statement: “If everyone agrees something is good, it must be bad.” Initially, I rejected its absolutism. For example, in stock markets, when everyone rushes to buy a “good” stock, its price inflates beyond rational value (reaching peak P/E ratios), inevitably leading to a crash.
But the deeper question is: What defines “good”? If “good” refers to an object, the statement feels too absolute. If it refers to a phenomenon, like herd mentality, I agree.
Nothing and no one is perfect. History shows no one remains infallible or eternally triumphant. Yet, modern life bombards us with hierarchies of superiority: birth, knowledge, wealth, geography, accents, even moral or religious righteousness. These invisible rankings fuel conflict.
When a person or idea receives universal acclaim, it’s often a red flag. Even the most grounded individuals, under excessive praise, absorb societal superiority, increasing their likelihood of error or psychological strain.
Extreme narcissism transcends personal pride; it morphs into ideologies like Hitler’s Nazism.
Practical Ways to Counter Narcissism
For ordinary people like us, avoiding self-worship starts with awareness:
- Recognize hidden superiority: Narcissism isn’t just overt arrogance; it’s the subtle condescension in daily interactions.
- Cultivate reverence: Identify role models across fields—not to compete, but to adopt a “Every person I meet can teach me something” mindset.
- Resist the urge to “win” debates: In conflicts, prioritize understanding over convincing. Practice perspective-taking.
This isn’t about suppressing confidence but balancing it with humility. The line is thin; tread consciously.
Closing Thought
Love isn’t a grand declaration but a daily choice, to see, accept, and commit to imperfect realities. Narcissism isn’t defeated by self-loathing but by redirecting admiration outward. Between the two lies the art of living well.
What do you think? Let’s discuss.
A Wanderer’s Reflection 
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