First off, I owe you all an apology for the recent lack of updates due to my academic commitments. I’ll be managing my time better to maintain a regular posting schedule.
I got back from the court tonight as it was getting dark. While thinking about the arc of my shots, I was reminded of the concept of “the edge of the comfort zone” from the book Peak. Whenever I read a book, I find truly useful, I’m always eager to put its ideas into practice. Yet, I often find that methods which work for others need adjustment to work for me, and the key to that adjustment lies in self-awareness.
I once strictly practiced shooting from the spots where my accuracy significantly dropped, thinking I was targeting my weaknesses. After three months, I realized those shots were rarely useful in real games. The real issue was my lack of core strength, which affected my stability. I’d been focusing on the wrong thing.
This made me understand that applying any method effectively requires keen self-insight.
In 2023, I read many books on methodology, particularly in business and finance. Over time, however, I felt my thinking was becoming somewhat rigid. I kept trying to apply established models, even in situations that called for creativity and empathy, making me come across as detached.
So, for 2024, I decided to broaden my reading. As someone who never liked history, I started listening to American history podcasts before bed instead of music. I can’t say it’s vastly expanded my knowledge, but it has, surprisingly, helped with my insomnia.
If you also struggle with sleepless nights, maybe give American history a try.
Now, let’s get to the main topic: how does one actually “train” their mindset?
This article shares my personal methods. Remember, these are just starting points, they’ll need tailoring to fit you.
My approach to mindset training revolves around two core actions:
- Building inner stability through reading and exercise.
- Actively creating challenging situations for myself to improve my ability to regulate my emotions.
Reading and sports are my personal preferences; they represent activities that motivate and improve us. You can substitute your own.
I’ve spent countless nights tossing and turning, frustrated with my own perceived inadequacies. Even when I knew I had tried my best, I was often dissatisfied. Ironically, I’d even get frustrated at my lack of progress in “becoming a perfectionist”, about not being a good enough “non-perfectionist.”
In such states, my mood would drop, and efficiency and stability would leave me. My weekly basketball training and daily reading have become crucial for pulling me out of these funks.
In Reading
In a world obsessed with self-improvement and outperforming your past self, reading is my steady anchor. I can always be sure I’ve read more today than yesterday, and the benefits compound over time.
Building a reading habit is the hardest part for most people, me included. Looking back, my first year of “serious” reading was unfocused and yielded little. I jumped between books, often putting them down after a few pages, sometimes reading merely out of anxiety. It was only when I discovered topics I genuinely loved, and when books helped me solve real problems, that my reading time naturally increased.
If you want to cultivate a reading habit:
- Browse summaries or skim books from various fields to find what truly interests you.
- Create a simple reading list and sequence the books you’re excited about.
- In the beginning, control your daily reading time. Sometimes, delaying the more interesting books can help build a more sustainable long-term habit.
Once the habit is stable, you can broaden your “reading diet.” I now often pair a heavier book (on medicine or history) with one I read purely for interest.
Good habits persist because they provide tangible “benefits.” Bad habits offer short-term pleasure; good habits deliver long-term growth. Start with “micro-habits.” Treat the process of building them as a way to practice patience. A positive mindset can significantly shorten the adaptation period.
On Sports
I love competitive sports not because I’m combative, but for the thrill of the play itself, the surge of adrenaline when the ball leaves my hands, the total immersion that makes off-court pressures fade away.
Basketball gives me more than just joy; it builds physical stability and profoundly strengthens my mental fortitude and emotional regulation.
As mentioned, I actively seek out “controlled frustration.” For me, the basketball court (and the workplace, a topic for another article) serves as this training ground.
In most areas of life and work, I rarely think about gender. But on the court, especially here in the US, where most players are male and often far more physically robust, the pressure intensifies.
In team sports, the strong players bear the pressure to win and the fear of failure. Weaker players, like I often am, grapple more with guilt and fear. When I get the ball, I’m often swarmed, unable to see the hoop. Shooting becomes a challenge. Sometimes, I’m afraid to hold the ball for more than two seconds, scared that a missed shot would bring disappointment from teammates or ridicule from opponents.
When I first started playing here, I was even afraid of my teammates passing me the ball. Missing a shot felt like betraying their trust. This guilt made me hesitant to shoot or ask for the ball, which only pushed me further to the margins, hurting the team.
I’ve lost many games, but often, I was simply defeated by my own timidity.
However, I once encountered a boy on the court who was even slighter than me. He was always hustling, never stopping. When his shot got blocked, he didn’t freeze for two seconds like I would; he immediately turned and switched to defense.
We only played together once, but that game left a mark. On the court, true respect isn’t reserved for the high-scoring stars, but for those who, despite their disadvantages, give their absolute all. Like the players I admire most, a positive, fighting spirit can energize the entire game and make it truly thrilling.
Now, whenever I feel like giving up, I remember him. He showed me my own potential. I aspire to have his speed and reactivity. Gradually, I’m overcoming my negative emotions.
I stopped lying to myself. I no longer use gender as an excuse for not training hard enough. On the court, everyone is just a player, teammate or opponent. If guys with a similar build to mine can drive fearlessly to the basket, why should I impose so many limits and pressures on myself?
Conclusion: Mindset is a Muscle
The core of mindset training is this: intentionally place yourself in challenging but low-stakes environments (like practice sessions). Let yourself experience frustration, then calmly reflect on your reactions and emotional shifts. Make targeted adjustments.
In difficult moments, try to split your perspective:
- One part of you (the self) experiences the situation and reacts naturally.
- Another part (the observer) rises above to watch the entire scene, identifying areas for improvement and looking for role models to learn from.
Through repeated practice, build a dynamic log of your own reactions. Strive to do better each time. Small, consistent steps add up to a thousand miles. Over time, you will cultivate a stable mindset and powerful regulatory skills.
“A peaceful heart, a healthy body, and a loving home, these things money can’t buy; they must be earned through effort.”
May we all find and keep a measure of inner peace in this restless world.
Finally, I’d like to leave you with a line I love from Shoe Dog:
“The cowards never started, and the weak died along the way—that leaves us.”
This article was written on February 16th, 2024, by Diffie. The author uses DeepSeek to translate.
Original article is below:
A Wanderer’s Reflection 
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